On February 9, 1960, Adolph Coors III, millionaire head of Coors Company, was kidnapped and held for ransom. Seven months later his body was found on a remote hillside. He had been shot to death. Adolph Coors IV was then fifteen years old. He lost not only his father, but also his best friend. For years Adolph Coors IV hated Joseph Corbett, the man who was sentenced to life for the slaying of Adolph Coors III.
In 1975, almost 15 years later, Adolph Coors IV became a man of faith. Yet, his hatred for Corbett, the murderer of his Dad, still consumed him.
Adolph Coors knew he needed to forgive Corbett as he himself had been forgiven. So he visited the maximum-security unit of Colorado’s Canon City penitentiary to talk with Joseph Corbett, however, Corbett refused to see him.
Adolf Coors left Joseph Corbett a Bible with the following inscription: “I’m here to see you today, and I’m sorry that we could not meet. As a man of faith, I am summoned to forgive. I do forgive you, and I ask you to forgive me for the hatred I’ve held in my heart for you.”
Later Coors confessed, “I have a love for that man that only God could have put in my heart.”
Business leaders do much to hone their skills as leaders. They learn about communication, team building, vision casting, influence, risk management and assessment, strategic planning, conflict resolution and much more. One area of leadership not often discussed is the area of forgiveness. Leaders must be able to forgive their employees, team members, directors and others if they desire to be the most effective leaders possible. They must also be willing to admit mistakes and offenses and seek forgiveness from others.
Be Willing to Forgive
If leadership is influence, forgiveness is freedom. Nothing can hinder leadership and influence more than the unwillingness to forgive someone on your team or under your direction. There are going to be times when someone doesn’t do what you expect, says something disrespectful, acts in an unbecoming way, betrays your trust or drops the ball with regard to meeting a deadline. While some situations require disciplinary actions and even worse, possible dismissal, forgiveness still needs to be part of the equation.
The first step to forgiving is being willing to forgive. Taking up an offense and holding a grudge is not healthy for the individual who is offended but it’s not healthy for the team either. Team members can sense when there is tension between individuals, especially between a leader and a subordinate. It’s always best to gather the facts, deal with the individual directly without undue delay, come to a resolve and forgive the offense. Sometimes an offense can take more time to “heal” from, but don’t let anger, resentment and bitterness linger. It will poison you and your team.
By the Measure of Forgiveness You Provide, So Too Will Others Forgive You
Leaders are not exempt from offending others and need to be aware when it happens. For various and understandable reasons, workers don’t usually approach their leaders when the leader has acted in an offensive way, said something hurtful or was carless about the effort put forth by their team.
When a leader becomes aware of their own offensive actions or words, they need to move quickly to admit they are wrong and seek forgiveness from others. Leaders will quickly find that by the measure of forgiveness they have provided others, they will be rewarded by that same measure in return. For some, that may not be good news.
Leading in the area of forgiveness is not easy, but it is necessary to lead effectively.
It’s Not About Getting Even – It’s About Getting Even-Keeled
When someone says or does something to hurt or offend us, we are thrown off kilter. We may be taken back by those actions. We struggle to understand what warranted such comments or actions. Thoughts might turn to paying that individual or organization back, however, it’s not about getting even, it’s about getting even-keeled.
The word keel has its origin in boating and sailing. The keel is a flat blade sticking down into the water from a sailboat’s bottom. It has two functions: it prevents the boat from being blown sideways by the wind, and it holds the ballast that keeps the boat right-side up.
When applied to people, even-keeled means someone is well balanced and not likely to change suddenly.
Leaders don’t allow the actions and comments of others to blow them off course or lose sight of the goal and destination. As tempting as it may be at times to strike back or engage in a verbal boxing match, good leaders know how navigate through delicate situations not stoking the flames by foolishly saying and doing things to create more problems.
Forgiveness is a keel that keeps leaders on course, properly focused, and free from torturous thoughts.
Louis B. Smedes said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”